Skin Deep

I'm white. I'm so white I'm almost clear.  Last fourth of July I went out onto Cocoa Beach in Florida without any sunblock for an afternoon and in no time at all, my mid-thigh shorts had created a definitive line separating the blinding white from the lobster red, compliments of the hot summer sun gleaming off of the ocean. 

It's now February.  The burn is long gone, and the pain, thankfully, and I've been reminded again that I should never walk out the door without sunblock on me... but the line, that definite demarcation line, is still very visible.  It's white and brown now, instead of white and red.

I was looking at it today, considering the damage that was probably done to my skin and marveling at just how deeply the burn went.  Just like anything that hurts us; cuts, burns, breaks, actions, words.... those things, if applied with force, even briefly, will leave an impression deep enough to last over time. 

I have not noticed the line on my legs often. I go about my life and stay busy, and occasionally, I will look down and see it and think, 'oh yeah.... that's still there'.  We can't see every wound; sometimes we feel them. The weather turns cold and our bodies ache and we think 'oh.... yes. That's still there'.  Someone says something and we remember unkind words spoken to us in our past.  We hear someone vocalizing violently, or being violent, and we stop in our tracks, our breath catches, our hearts pound in our ears and we remember terrifying moments that have long gone, and we whisper to ourselves... 'oh yeah, that's still there'. 

Harsh words, hard hands, painful consequences and seemingly hopeless situations can indeed injure us, seen or unseen, but they do not stop us; only death stops us.  If we are still living, we have choices, we have options, we can learn from the experience and make changes to avoid a recurrence.

While we can carry these remnants of impact with us, they do not define us and should not be a focal point. They are reminders to stay safe and be careful, but they should never hinder us, never intimidate us, and never, ever stop us from living with passion and strength and growing as we live.

A sunburn isn't the same as abuse, but the analogy of being hurt, bearing the mark of it, and avoiding it in the future is similar.

Am I going back out in the sun ever again?
Absolutely.

Am I going to wear sunblock?
Every time.

I'm making this change to ensure that it won't happen again. 
Live. Learn. Change. Grow.
Apply liberally and often.

A Brave & Risen Woman

The Risen Woman would like to applaud Senator LeAnna Washington for her bravery, courage and strength in overcoming abuse and changing her life for herself and her children. She's become quite successful and has become a wonderful role model for women and girls everywhere.  She is a modern day heroine.

Have a look, and share this with others who may need the inspiration:

 http://www.upworthy.com/her-husbands-abuse-once-kept-her-behind-closed-doors-now-shes-speaking-out-loud-and-clear-10?g=2

Inspiration In The Risen Woman

The purpose of this project, this work, is to produce a book that will be a compilation of stories of women who've been abused in different ways, overcome it, and grown into successful lives. The book is to encourage women and girls who are in abusive situations, or who have been, so that they can believe that it's possible to change their lives and break free from the abuse and discover their own worth.
I've spent years volunteering in women's safe houses and shelters, talking with them, working with them, and when one is in an oppressive life, it's sometimes so hard to believe that changing it and getting out is a possibility.
When a person is abused, they oftentimes begin to believe that they aren't worth anything better. My hope is to change that; to show them by the example of other women that it absolutely can be done, that they can leave a horrible life & make a new one.
I've done it myself, and what good is becoming a champion of my own life if I don't use that experience to help others do the same with theirs? How could I leave them in hell and go on with my own happiness?
Our experiences teach us so that we may teach others and better the world for our having passed through it. This book will be in shelters, counselors offices, ObGyn offices, and anywhere it's needed, I hope.
That is the aim. To teach women, to encourage them to rise up out of the ashes of their destructive lives and begin again; like a Phoenix. There is little else on this planet as resilient as a woman.

The Purpose Behind The Risen Woman

The idea for The Risen Woman has been in the making for many years, because I've always wanted to show other women in abusive situations how to change their lives for the better. Circumstance sometimes finds us in dark places, in places where the light of hope does not shine very often, or very brightly. Sometimes when a woman or girl is suffocating under the domination of an abuser, it's difficult to find her own strength.

We all crave inspiration to grow and learn. Wise words from a teacher, the security of guidance from one who has tread a path or knows the way when we are uncertain. We share quotes from revered thinkers and doers; the Dalai Lama, Oprah, Socrates and Plato, Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King Jr., Maya Angelou. We even share quotes from movies and books; works that make us think, give us a new perspective, a new way to think about things, to learn how to handle the tough spots, and to grow. These ideas change us, encourage us, and because of them, we oftentimes change our lives because we want to live better.

It's just this same way with The Risen Woman. Who better to help women and girls out of dangerous and difficult places than women who've been in those same places, gotten out and changed their lives to a point that it has become successful? Who better, indeed.

People live at every level of life; we live with what we will accept. There are some who flat our refuse to live in abusive situations, and there are some to whom that is an acceptable way of life, because it is all they've known and all they've been taught. Some even, who hate that life and do not want it, but do not have the strength or the courage to try to change it.

Abuse happens when one person is dominant over another person. The abused, in this case, is in a hole; a deficit, and has the daunting task of not only climbing up out of that chasm, to get onto an equal ground with the abuser, but then must overcome the abuser to rise above that situation and get away from it. That kind of fortitude is not easily kept when one is being beaten down. It is at those low points when one finds it most difficult to believe that change could ever happen; that brighter days will come and life could be more than a hated misery.

I've not only lived in those dark places, I've worked and volunteered at women's shelters and I've seen so many women and children who are trying to change their lives and extract themselves from the cycles of abuse. It is not an easy thing to overcome, and having something or someone to believe in or emulate can make a tremendous difference. For the women and girls in abusive environments, sometimes the strongest inspiration can come from seeing other women who have extricated themselves from the same and succeeded. Something very much like, 'If she can do it, maybe I can too...'.

Women, whether they know it or not, are inherently strong and are absolutely capable of rising, like a phoenix from the ashes of despair, into a new life of health, happiness and vitality. This is what The Risen Woman is doing. It is a compilation of stories of women who have been abused, who overcame it and have changed their lives into positive success.

If this work touches your heart and you'd like to help bring this project to life, please contribute by donating to The Risen Woman at the Gofundme link on the top right side of this page. Together, we can change lives.
If you have a true story of abuse turned to success that you'd like to have considered for publication in the book, please email it to me at therisenwoman@gmail.com.