Skin Deep

I'm white. I'm so white I'm almost clear.  Last fourth of July I went out onto Cocoa Beach in Florida without any sunblock for an afternoon and in no time at all, my mid-thigh shorts had created a definitive line separating the blinding white from the lobster red, compliments of the hot summer sun gleaming off of the ocean. 

It's now February.  The burn is long gone, and the pain, thankfully, and I've been reminded again that I should never walk out the door without sunblock on me... but the line, that definite demarcation line, is still very visible.  It's white and brown now, instead of white and red.

I was looking at it today, considering the damage that was probably done to my skin and marveling at just how deeply the burn went.  Just like anything that hurts us; cuts, burns, breaks, actions, words.... those things, if applied with force, even briefly, will leave an impression deep enough to last over time. 

I have not noticed the line on my legs often. I go about my life and stay busy, and occasionally, I will look down and see it and think, 'oh yeah.... that's still there'.  We can't see every wound; sometimes we feel them. The weather turns cold and our bodies ache and we think 'oh.... yes. That's still there'.  Someone says something and we remember unkind words spoken to us in our past.  We hear someone vocalizing violently, or being violent, and we stop in our tracks, our breath catches, our hearts pound in our ears and we remember terrifying moments that have long gone, and we whisper to ourselves... 'oh yeah, that's still there'. 

Harsh words, hard hands, painful consequences and seemingly hopeless situations can indeed injure us, seen or unseen, but they do not stop us; only death stops us.  If we are still living, we have choices, we have options, we can learn from the experience and make changes to avoid a recurrence.

While we can carry these remnants of impact with us, they do not define us and should not be a focal point. They are reminders to stay safe and be careful, but they should never hinder us, never intimidate us, and never, ever stop us from living with passion and strength and growing as we live.

A sunburn isn't the same as abuse, but the analogy of being hurt, bearing the mark of it, and avoiding it in the future is similar.

Am I going back out in the sun ever again?
Absolutely.

Am I going to wear sunblock?
Every time.

I'm making this change to ensure that it won't happen again. 
Live. Learn. Change. Grow.
Apply liberally and often.